My Mother and I recently walked into a small appliance store to find a replacement remote for her garage door. At the time, the owner of the store was busy with another customer.
We spent some time looking around, and I also looked online to find the same remote. After some time, the owner was still caught up with the customer, so we decided to head elsewhere.
As we turned toward the door, the owner piped up from across the store and said, “If you could wait one minute whilst I finish with this customer, I know I will be able to help you...and isn’t that the reason you came here in the first place?”
The store owner very quickly ascertained the reason we were shopping was for my mother. Hers was an old door and an old model remote. He quickly took on an empathetic approach and asked my mum a series of questions to understand how she felt and the feeling of annoyance over losing a remote. He even talked of security and peace of mind. All of this over a $75.00 remote.
He then said “I know there are cheaper options online, however, there is a risk to the online option not being the right one and you would have to wait a few days for it to be posted. Given you have taken the time to drive to my store, I can see that having the right one now would be a far better option for you”.
Job done!
Empathy; one of the most overused words and most underused behaviours in selling today.
In ten minutes, this guy did something that online shopping can’t do, he showed empathy. He understood why he does what he does and why customers do what they do and then used empathy to connect the two.
In ten minutes he built a level of trust via his expertise and ability to step into my mother’s world as against her having to just accept his.
“A fool tells me their reasons, A wise person persuades me with my own”
Whilst some people are more empathetic than others, it is not purely innate within us. Empathy is a skill and can be taught. The first skill to learn is listening. Listening sits at the heart of empathy, however on its own is not enough.
Understanding the other person and putting yourself in their shoes can only be ascertained by the questions you ask and how deep you go on understanding their answers and their true feelings, beliefs, values, etc.
When we couple the right questions, with the ability to drill down deeper on these questions and the ability to actively listen we then put ourselves in the ‘empathy zone’. Do this well and trust starts to build. Build trust and more often than not everything comes together to ensure the sale.
It’s simple but it’s not easy.
“Seek first to understand, Then to be understood" Dr Stephen Covey.
In this social media world full of influencers, reality TV and C-grade celebs, empathy is being pushed aside to reinforce a ‘look at me, you all should want to be me’ culture. What a great opportunity for those that can master authentic empathy, because when people are on the receiving end it is even more powerful now than it has ever been.
How are you using empathy in the way you sell? Is it all about you or is it all about the customer?
You have a choice – choose wisely!
Andrew Nisbet




